Bouncing, Random, ADD Thoughts on My Mortality

My grandma died this past August, and it's still really difficult to think about it. But there are a few thoughts bouncing in my head that usually bounce the loudest when the day has finally quieted down. Do you have thoughts like that, too?
I was at grandma's side holding her hand for a couple of days in the nursing home before she died. She was in her right mind most of the time. She was too weak to really even move her head or speak above a whisper. She watched with loving eyes as her great-grandchildren spoke to her and sat on my lap. She said, "I hope you'll have more time with them than I got to have with you".
After she died, my dad and his wife and myself went through her things at her home. I saw pictures from her retirement party. She had worked there many, many years. There was a banner and a cake, and everyone was laughing and clearly enjoying themselves.
Her home was a museum of about any Watchtower periodical you could think of and all her Bible study notes.
But in the end.....
There were no friends at her side.
There were no former co-workers to help cheer her.
There were no members from her congregation to reflect on things they'd learned.
There was no one.
She had instructed cremation with no memorial services whatsoever, and my dad and I were to bury her urn atop her mother-in-law's casket.

Were you wondering when I was going to get to the bouncing thoughts part? Here goes:

Isn't it amazing how many sets of friends we have throughout our lives? We have our childhood friends, high-school friends, college friends, friends that move in and then out of our lives while we're in ministry......
If you died tomorrow, who would come to your funeral? Forget about who's coming because they're compelled to come because you might have some type of a position. That doesn't count; that's a cheap cheat.

Who's going to miss you?
Who's looking forward to seeing you again in heaven?
Who's there remembering how you somehow made a direct difference in their life?
Who's there who could share memories made with you?
In the end, do you think you're going to care that you walked away from friends - or even your family members - because they didn't "believe" exactly the way you do? Do you think you'll be giving a rip that you turned your back on friends and family because they weren't as "conservative" as you were?
You know........our friends and our family members are the only earthly treasures we'll get to take to heaven with us.
My one hope of seeing my grandma in heaven someday, is the fact that she was reared in the old conservative Lutheran Germany. Not that being Lutheran gets you to heaven any more than saying conservative Baptist gets you to heaven.My hope is based on the fact that she was taught and still believed that if there was eternal life in heaven, it was only attainable through Jesus Christ.

For eternity, what matters is that you have trusted Jesus Christ as your own personal Savior. It matters that you have confessed your sin and have repented - or made the decision to turn away from - the sin that has kept you from the forgiveness and relationship for which Jesus died on the cross and then rose again 3 days later.

I was kept away from family members because of the fear that they would influence me with their worldly ways. I understand this to a point. But now as I've gotten older, it's very burdensome to me that those would never leave me weren't permitted to be a part of my life.
Friends come and go all throughout our lives; family is always family.
You may not always LIKE everyone in your family, and we can certainly irritate each other. But there is no retracting family blood line. No matter how much you'd like to disown them or try to convince yourself that you're better than they are, you were given to your family as a gift from God. Who are you to pull yourself out of God's intention?

My grandpa died when I was 9 years old. I have a few fond memories of being with him as he smiled and introduced me to his friends as his "little WXYZ". I loved the smell of his Sir Walter Raleigh pipe tobacco, and looking at his pipe collection. And beyond that, there isn't much to remember of a relationship. This was largely due to that fact that he wasn't a conservative, independent fundamental Baptist and he had a television. Grandma smoked, too. My aunt listened to rock music. They lived 4 hours away from us. We had very, very little money to make a trip to see them. But if we did make the trip (maybe 1-2 times a year), we would arrive late at night and sometimes leave the next day. We always had to be sure to be back to work our bus route at church or attend a work party. We spent our Thanksgiving time at our church because they had a special service which went on for hours and hours.

In the end, attending every work party or never missing a Sunday on your bus route isn't going to amount to a hill of beans.

What are the two great commandments?
Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind.
The second is like to it: Love your neighbor as yourself.

Accept Jesus as your Savior and pursue His will and ways. His ways aren't to alienate people. Jesus was all about people.
What will you do with Jesus?
What will you do with the people he's placed in your life?

I love the friends I grew up with; but where are they now? Many have forgotten me, or were quick to turn their backs on someone as myself who serves the Lord differently than they serve.
I love my family members; the very few I have left I hope I do not alienate but make a lasting impact and leave a Christian legacy.

I love this song, "Legacy", by Nicole Nordeman:

"I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me,
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest.
You can take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all the Who's Who's and So and So's
That used to be the best at Such and Such.
It wouldn't matter much.
I won't lie: it feels alright to see your name in lights.
We all need an atta-boy or atta-girl.
But in the end, I'd like to hang my hat on more besides
The temporary trappings of this world.
I want to leave a legacy.
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love?
Did I point to You enough to make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering;
A child of mercy and grace who blessed Your name unapologetically.
Leave that kind of legacy.

Not "well-traveled", not "well-read"
Not "well-to-do" or "well-bred"
I just want to hear instead:"Well done, good and faithful one!"

I want to leave a legacy.
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love?
Did I point to You enough to make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering.
A child of mercy and grace who blessed Your name unapologetically.
Leave that kind of legacy.