Today has been a total waste of a day.
Sometimes it's good to have a wasted day, though. I just have to turn my brain off sometimes. Okay, no comments about that last sentence!
Today was an eat-a-whole-bag-of-gummy-bears day while reading a book from the "Bathroom Readers Institute". Hey, it was educational.
I put supper in the crockpot this morning, so nothing to worry about there. Jeff and I are going to the bakery to get a little yummy for my birthday. I don't really want stuff; besides, I just spent some $$ at Coldwater Creek and I can't add to the spending guilt! LOL Jeff picked out a gorgeously cute jacket top for me. He's actually fun to clothes shop with...good eye.
I can't believe I actually did this: I bought a pair of shoes just because they were cute!! I NEVER do this with shoes. But I couldn't pass them up. They're black lace, 2.5" heels, very small, slightly fluffed lace lining the top and a small black bow. I have nick-named them "the shoes of death".
As everyone who knows anything knows: if your shoes don't hurt, they don't look good. I used to wear pumps/heels all the time growing up, but now I mostly wear flats. So, my eyes were saying, "CUTE!", my toes were saying, "OI!", and my brain was saying, "WHAAA...???"
If I die tomorrow, I want to be buried wearing those shoes.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Skinny Tomorrow?
TV offers us some incredible claims. We're just supposed to believe it's true if it's on TV.
Isn't it funny to watch a commercial with some guy in a white coat waxing elequently about medical matters....and then in very tiny print underneath there is a disclaimer??? Turns out this guy isn't really a doctor, after all.
LOL
Try to pick out a diet-pill aid strictly by watching the commercials. WOW, they're ALL the greatest and strongest. Have you seen the tiny print that says, "Weight loss result not typical"?
But today's claim realllly cracked me up.
Today, "Tony" was excitedly telling me about this fantastic diet, how much weight he lost, his before and after picture, blah, blah, blah.
But THEN, the camera zooms in closely to Tony's face. He points his finger at me through the TV screen and he says, "You do not have to be fat for one more day!!"
Yes, Tony, we do have to be fat for one more day. If I take Tony's fat pill today, I will most certainly be fat tomorrow. I know this is absolutely true because otherwise Tony would be a bzillionaire and not a compensated actor.
Isn't it funny to watch a commercial with some guy in a white coat waxing elequently about medical matters....and then in very tiny print underneath there is a disclaimer??? Turns out this guy isn't really a doctor, after all.
LOL
Try to pick out a diet-pill aid strictly by watching the commercials. WOW, they're ALL the greatest and strongest. Have you seen the tiny print that says, "Weight loss result not typical"?
But today's claim realllly cracked me up.
Today, "Tony" was excitedly telling me about this fantastic diet, how much weight he lost, his before and after picture, blah, blah, blah.
But THEN, the camera zooms in closely to Tony's face. He points his finger at me through the TV screen and he says, "You do not have to be fat for one more day!!"
Yes, Tony, we do have to be fat for one more day. If I take Tony's fat pill today, I will most certainly be fat tomorrow. I know this is absolutely true because otherwise Tony would be a bzillionaire and not a compensated actor.
It Has to be Organic
Taking middle-school fun to another height, Jonathan borrowed "The Dangerous Book for Boys". It's crammed full of important things every boy must know to get along in life successfully. Seriously, who could resist such a book?
All sorts of things are in this mystifying book, whose very title alone draws a young man into it and implores him to greedily read every page of its near-contraband subjects.
Subjects such as:
"The Greatest Paper Airplane in the World"
"Making a Battery"
"Building a Treehouse"
"Making a Bow and Arrow"
"Pocket Light" (we built one; it works!)
The most intriguing subject to catch a boy's eye, though, would be the subject entitled "Secret Inks". Oh, yes, innocent...and a bit... provocative.
*****
I came home from a very short trip to the laundrymat; so short, in fact, that I was gone from home a mere ten minutes.
Walking in the front door, I heard the familiar "DING!" on the microwave. I would have naturally thought that another bag of popcorn was going to its great reward, but what I heard made my mother-radar stand on end.
"HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! It's BOILING! It's BOILING!!"
Horrified at what might be behind such raucous laughter, I ran into the kitchen to see my favorite tea cup in the now steamed-up microwave. Such a pretty teacup, she was. Large-sized, white with pink roses, a pink rim and a lone rose on the inside--this cup has been more than a cup to hold hot liquids. This was a friend. This was a little thing of comfort on a cold day full of my favorite hot teas...peppermint, chamomile, orange spice...I digress.
I'm speaking of my teacup in past tense for a reason.
My tingling spidey-senses led me to ask, "WHAT'S boiling??"
"My pee! My pee is boiling! HAHAHAHAHA"
My cup...my microwave...the smell...everything is swirling...
"WHY? WHY would you PEE in my CUP?" I implored, desperate for a sensible answer.
"I'm making Secret Ink, and I need something carbon-based and organic!"
As in, "Duh, mom, like I would just pee in your favorite cup for no good reason."
I pointed out the lemon juice, milk, and egg in the refrigerator. Didn't matter at all. Oh, no, we should use urine. And we should boil it.
I'm mean; I made him dump the steaming pee into the toilet. Jeff told me I could soak my cup in bleach and then wash it through the dishwasher.
I could never do that, not after that event. That cup could be boiled in bleach for a year, and I would never use it. It has since gone to its great reward.
There are a few morals to this story.
The most obvious moral would be:
1) Don't buy a book that starts with the word 'Dangerous' for a middle-school boy.
Following closely behind that would be:
2)Keep more popcorn in the cupboard
3)Take him to the laundrymat with me
...and last, but most importantly:
4)Have a back-up teacup
***
All sorts of things are in this mystifying book, whose very title alone draws a young man into it and implores him to greedily read every page of its near-contraband subjects.
Subjects such as:
"The Greatest Paper Airplane in the World"
"Making a Battery"
"Building a Treehouse"
"Making a Bow and Arrow"
"Pocket Light" (we built one; it works!)
The most intriguing subject to catch a boy's eye, though, would be the subject entitled "Secret Inks". Oh, yes, innocent...and a bit... provocative.
*****
I came home from a very short trip to the laundrymat; so short, in fact, that I was gone from home a mere ten minutes.
Walking in the front door, I heard the familiar "DING!" on the microwave. I would have naturally thought that another bag of popcorn was going to its great reward, but what I heard made my mother-radar stand on end.
"HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! It's BOILING! It's BOILING!!"
Horrified at what might be behind such raucous laughter, I ran into the kitchen to see my favorite tea cup in the now steamed-up microwave. Such a pretty teacup, she was. Large-sized, white with pink roses, a pink rim and a lone rose on the inside--this cup has been more than a cup to hold hot liquids. This was a friend. This was a little thing of comfort on a cold day full of my favorite hot teas...peppermint, chamomile, orange spice...I digress.
I'm speaking of my teacup in past tense for a reason.
My tingling spidey-senses led me to ask, "WHAT'S boiling??"
"My pee! My pee is boiling! HAHAHAHAHA"
My cup...my microwave...the smell...everything is swirling...
"WHY? WHY would you PEE in my CUP?" I implored, desperate for a sensible answer.
"I'm making Secret Ink, and I need something carbon-based and organic!"
As in, "Duh, mom, like I would just pee in your favorite cup for no good reason."
I pointed out the lemon juice, milk, and egg in the refrigerator. Didn't matter at all. Oh, no, we should use urine. And we should boil it.
I'm mean; I made him dump the steaming pee into the toilet. Jeff told me I could soak my cup in bleach and then wash it through the dishwasher.
I could never do that, not after that event. That cup could be boiled in bleach for a year, and I would never use it. It has since gone to its great reward.
There are a few morals to this story.
The most obvious moral would be:
1) Don't buy a book that starts with the word 'Dangerous' for a middle-school boy.
Following closely behind that would be:
2)Keep more popcorn in the cupboard
3)Take him to the laundrymat with me
...and last, but most importantly:
4)Have a back-up teacup
***
Prayer Request
Jenna's bedtime prayer tonight:
"Jesus, please bless us all with a big bag of Cheetos"
"Jesus, please bless us all with a big bag of Cheetos"
It's Been a Year?
Hmmm...wow, where do I catch up?
New job (almost a year--very impressive, indeed --the year part, not the job)
Surgery (I'm fine now; you don't want to know)
Survived a few near-death asthma attack experiences
2 departed society finches (very sad finding)
2 new Lady Gouldian finches--one male, one female (very colorful; just sharing a cage)
Read a couple of books (got to get better at that)
Got into the Funkey's phase (we have them all except Glub!)
Moved my bedroom into the former family room (painted Benjamin Moore's Stratford Blue)
Building a wall for the new bedroom (in the drywall phase)
Gained weight (stupid steroids!)
Singing a lot
Playing keys
Have a newly-appointed favorite movie: "Mr. Magorium's Magic Emporium"
New Favorite Quote: "Life is an occassion; rise to it." (from the above)
New "Need": a large, silver moon mirror. Completely rounded circle mirror with part of it filled in with a brushed silver in a crescent shaped moon. Never seen one, but it sounds nice.
I suppose there's much more, but maybe there isn't.
The world may never know.
New job (almost a year--very impressive, indeed --the year part, not the job)
Surgery (I'm fine now; you don't want to know)
Survived a few near-death asthma attack experiences
2 departed society finches (very sad finding)
2 new Lady Gouldian finches--one male, one female (very colorful; just sharing a cage)
Read a couple of books (got to get better at that)
Got into the Funkey's phase (we have them all except Glub!)
Moved my bedroom into the former family room (painted Benjamin Moore's Stratford Blue)
Building a wall for the new bedroom (in the drywall phase)
Gained weight (stupid steroids!)
Singing a lot
Playing keys
Have a newly-appointed favorite movie: "Mr. Magorium's Magic Emporium"
New Favorite Quote: "Life is an occassion; rise to it." (from the above)
New "Need": a large, silver moon mirror. Completely rounded circle mirror with part of it filled in with a brushed silver in a crescent shaped moon. Never seen one, but it sounds nice.
I suppose there's much more, but maybe there isn't.
The world may never know.
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