It Has to be Organic

Taking middle-school fun to another height, Jonathan borrowed "The Dangerous Book for Boys". It's crammed full of important things every boy must know to get along in life successfully. Seriously, who could resist such a book?

All sorts of things are in this mystifying book, whose very title alone draws a young man into it and implores him to greedily read every page of its near-contraband subjects.

Subjects such as:
"The Greatest Paper Airplane in the World"
"Making a Battery"
"Building a Treehouse"
"Making a Bow and Arrow"
"Pocket Light" (we built one; it works!)

The most intriguing subject to catch a boy's eye, though, would be the subject entitled "Secret Inks". Oh, yes, innocent...and a bit... provocative.

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I came home from a very short trip to the laundrymat; so short, in fact, that I was gone from home a mere ten minutes.

Walking in the front door, I heard the familiar "DING!" on the microwave. I would have naturally thought that another bag of popcorn was going to its great reward, but what I heard made my mother-radar stand on end.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! It's BOILING! It's BOILING!!"

Horrified at what might be behind such raucous laughter, I ran into the kitchen to see my favorite tea cup in the now steamed-up microwave. Such a pretty teacup, she was. Large-sized, white with pink roses, a pink rim and a lone rose on the inside--this cup has been more than a cup to hold hot liquids. This was a friend. This was a little thing of comfort on a cold day full of my favorite hot teas...peppermint, chamomile, orange spice...I digress.

I'm speaking of my teacup in past tense for a reason.

My tingling spidey-senses led me to ask, "WHAT'S boiling??"

"My pee! My pee is boiling! HAHAHAHAHA"

My cup...my microwave...the smell...everything is swirling...

"WHY? WHY would you PEE in my CUP?" I implored, desperate for a sensible answer.

"I'm making Secret Ink, and I need something carbon-based and organic!"
As in, "Duh, mom, like I would just pee in your favorite cup for no good reason."

I pointed out the lemon juice, milk, and egg in the refrigerator. Didn't matter at all. Oh, no, we should use urine. And we should boil it.

I'm mean; I made him dump the steaming pee into the toilet. Jeff told me I could soak my cup in bleach and then wash it through the dishwasher.

I could never do that, not after that event. That cup could be boiled in bleach for a year, and I would never use it. It has since gone to its great reward.

There are a few morals to this story.

The most obvious moral would be:
1) Don't buy a book that starts with the word 'Dangerous' for a middle-school boy.
Following closely behind that would be:
2)Keep more popcorn in the cupboard
3)Take him to the laundrymat with me
...and last, but most importantly:
4)Have a back-up teacup

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